De Consideratione

1. I remember, dear Eugenius, Father in God and best of men, the promise which I made, alas! too long ago. Now, late though it be, I propose to redeem my pledge. I should be ashamed of the delay if I were conscious of carelessness or contempt. This is not the case; but, as you yourself know, we have fallen on evil times; it seemed as though our social life, not to speak of our studies, was doomed to come to a standstill; it was as though the Lord, provoked by our sins, were almost judging the world before the time, with equity indeed, but forgetful of his mercy. He has not spared the people, nor His own Name. Do they not say among the peoples, 'Where is their God'?¹ And no wonder. The sons of the Church, and they who bear the Christian name, lie prostrate in the desert, slain with the sword, or perished with hunger. Floods of strife have overwhelmed our rulers, and the Lord has made them to wander in the waste, where there is no way.² Tribulation and misfortune are in their ways, terror, sorrow, and confusion in the chambers of kings themselves.³ Confusion dogs the footsteps of those that bring tidings of peace, that announce good things!⁴ We said 'peace', and there is no peace; we promised good things, and lo! perplexity. It might be supposed we had therein been light or rash. We certainly ran therein not as uncertainly, but at your command, nay, rather at God's command given through you. Why then have we fasted, and He hath not beheld? humbled our souls, and He knew not? For in all these things His fury is not turned from us, but His hand is stretched out still. How patiently, meanwhile, doth He listen to the impious words of the blasphemous Egyptians, 'He craftily led them out that He might slay them in the desert.'⁵ We all know that the judgements of the Lord are true.⁶ But this judgement is such a great deep that I could almost justify myself for calling him blessed who is not offended thereat.

2. Still, how strange it is that men are so rash as to dare to reprehend what they cannot possibly comprehend! Let us call to mind the judgements of former times, which have been since the world began, if haply we may find consolation in them. For one spoke on this wise, 'I have remembered thy judgements of old, O Lord, and have comforted myself.'⁷ I speak of what everybody knew, and now nobody knows. Forsooth this is the way with the wit of man. Knowledge is sometimes superfluous: when we need it, we have it not. Moses, when about to lead the people out of the land of Egypt, promised them a better land. Otherwise, had they known that land only, were they ever likely to follow him? He led them out, but when they were led out he did not lead them into the land which he had promised.⁸ Nor can the sad and unlooked-for issue be attributed to the rashness of the leader. He did everything as the Lord commanded, the Lord working with him, and confirming his work by signs following. But that people, you say, was stiff-necked, always stubbornly opposing the Lord and his servant Moses. Well! they were faithless and rebellious; but what are these? Ask them. What need for me to say what they themselves confess? One thing I do say. How could they reach their journey's end who were always turning back on the road? Was there ever a time in their whole journey when they were not in their heart turning back into Egypt? But if they fell and perished on account of their iniquity, can we wonder that our contemporaries with the same conduct have the same experience? But was their fall contrary to the promises of God? No, nor has the fall of these latter been. For the promises of God never prejudice the righteousness of God. And something else I wish to say.

3. Benjamin hath sinned:⁹ the other tribes gird themselves for vengeance, and not without God's approval. In fact He himself appointed the leader of the army. So they fight, relying both on the stronger force and on the better cause, and, what is more, on the divine favour. But how terrible is God in His purposes towards the children of men!¹⁰ The avengers of wickedness gave their backs to the accursed, and the many fled before the few. But they return to the Lord, and the Lord bids them go up.¹¹ They go up afresh, and again they are scattered and confounded. So at first with God's favour, and then at God's command, the righteous engage in a righteous contest, and nevertheless are overcome. But they were found as superior in faith as they were inferior in the fight. What do you suppose our forces would make of me if at my exhortation they were again to go up, and again be overcome? Are they likely to listen to me if I were to advise them for the third time to march, and resume the work in which once and again they have been frustrated? And yet the Israelites, taking no account of their double disappointment, obeyed for the third time, and were then victorious. But we shall perhaps be asked, 'How are to know that the word has gone forth from the Lord? What signs do you work, that we may believe you?' It is not for me to answer these questions; I must spare my modesty. Do you answer for me, and for yourself, according as you have heard and seen, or, at all events, according as God has given you inspiration.

4. But you are, perhaps, wondering why I take this line, so different from what I purposed. I do so, not because I have forgotten my purpose, but because I do not consider it foreign to my purpose. If I remember, the subject of my discourse to your Excellency was to be Consideration. And certainly the matter to which I have referred is important and requires much consideration. But if great matters ought to be considered by great men, who is so well qualified for the work as yourself, who have no equal upon earth? You will, I am sure, according to the wisdom and power given to you from above, deal with this matter. It is not consistent with my humility to tell you that such and such things should be done. It is enough for me to have intimated that something ought to be done for the consolation of the Church, and to stop the mouth of them that speak wickedly. Let these few remarks stand for my apology, so that whatever your conscience may tell you about me you may from my own lips know enough to excuse me, and yourself also. I cannot hope for this from those who judge by results, but with you I am safe. The testimony of a man's conscience is his only perfect and complete excuse. To me it is a very small matter that I should be judged by those who call good evil and evil good, who put light for darkness and darkness for light.¹² And if one of the two things must happen, I had rather that men murmured against us than against God. It is good for me if He condescends to use me as a shield. I gladly welcome the tongues that speak against me, and the poisoned darts of blasphemers, if only they may not reach Him. I do not refuse to be dishonoured if only violence be not done to the glory of God. Who can give me the privilege of glorying thus, ‘For thy sake have I suffered reproach, shame hath covered my face’?¹³ My glory is to become a partner with Christ, who says, ‘the reproaches of them that reproached thee have fallen upon me.’¹⁴ Now at last my pen shall return to its proper work, and my discourse go on its way to the goal we set before us.