De arte praedicatoria

Of widows the Apostle says: To the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they remain as I am,¹ that is, chaste. And elsewhere: I wish all men to be as I myself am,² that is, continent. Although the married state is good, the state of widowhood is nevertheless freer.

For in marriage there is danger in keeping fidelity to the marriage bed, danger in tempering the rights of carnal intercourse; there is labor in the anxiety of household affairs; there is a burden in the raising of children, sorrow to the wife in childbirth, pain while she bears the child in her womb, there the wife is placed under the power of her husband, even a violent one; there is fear of the husband, lest the wife become an adulteress, there the husband has no absolute power, there is disordered motion, though venial. Let the widow, therefore, not pass to second marriages; for second marriages bring suspicion of lust, they are evidence of incontinence; being widowed of an earthly husband, let her be joined to a heavenly bridegroom, where conception is without labor, childbirth without pain, where there is strict justice, where God is eternal life, where conception is an ordered will, where childbirth is a good work; where desire is charity, where fidelity to the bed is longsuffering, where the truth of the sacrament is the sacrament itself, where the marriage bed is chastity, sight is contemplation, speech is prayer, touch is eternal love, where the kiss is tranquility of mind, where carnal intercourse is eternal joy. O widow, if you seek an example of the widowed state, you find the form of widowhood in Anna the prophetess.³ She, by the merit of her continence, merited prophecy, by the merit of her chastity merited to see the Messiah. Let the widowhood of the faithful turtledove, then, invite you to chastity, because, deprived of its mate, it neither seeks to love nor to be loved.

If it lacks its mate, it settles neither on a green branch, nor on flourishing grass. This admonishes you, O widow, that in the time of widowhood, you should despise the flower of the aging world, and scorn the greenness of worldly delight. O widow, if you are joined to an earthly husband, you serve your heavenly bridegroom less freely. For no one can serve two masters,⁴ and while you attend to the flesh, you attend less to the spirit.